I fear rejections and failures, terribly.
Maybe I should tell myself: ‘Go ahead, taste whichever kinds of rejections and failures until you get so numb, that you eventually decide to walk out of them and push further’…
I’ve been thinking if I’m suited for ‘that game’, as I examine myself. Well, I’m trying to improve, but more often than not, at the expense of others. How hapless can that be.
Hello, it’s been quite a long way since my last entry. Guess I’ve been busy and distracted by other things and people.
Time flies – I’m already halfway through the second last semester. One more semester and that’s it for education, I suppose. And it’s entering into the real and new world, like how infants start learning from ground zero.
School has been pretty alright. However, I feel that I’m losing steam ever since after my good long 6-month hiatus from studying (though I did HR and 5181 which didn’t require me to study much, but projects). One of the current mods that I’m taking now is the petroleum refining. Albeit it being an interesting module, the amount of information to memorize is quite a lot. The questions in exams are said to be straight-forward yet tedious; allow no time to think much – have to be rather quick – something that I fear. And I reckon that I could be slow at times in analyzing things. Furthermore, there are a lot of bright people taking that module. All that is somewhat discouraging.
Apart from school, I’ve been facing some problems here and there. Problems and things which I cannot share to anyone freely, except one person so far. They are all intertwined. Ok, too complicated for me to elaborate here.
For now, I need to loosen up more….
To most, nightlife could mean chillin’ out at pub/club till late, supper at some famous places. But to my surprise, it wasn’t the case for some.
It was in the wee morning – 2 plus a.m. I decided to cycle around my neighbourhood and park, after my supper; since the night was rather cooling. Love the cool breeze blowing against me while paddling my not-very-the-good bike.
There were about 10 youths playing soccer at the basketball court, with a small group of people sitting by the side watching.
Further down, 3 guys were rollerblading in the inline hockey court. 2 of them were trying to learn some maneuvers, as it seemed. A middle-aged man was snoring on the bench beside the court. Though it might be cooling to sleep outside, I thought it was kinda poor thing of him.
Near the fitness corner, 2 guys had just finished their run and workout. I thought to myself, ‘Even if it’s that cooling, need not to exercise at such unearthly hour right?’ Amazing chaps.
Of course, there were a few groups of Malays and Chinese, hanging around at various places – chit-chatting and enjoying the beautiful night.
So, if you wish to have something out of the norm, try any of the above. If I had a better bike, I’d definitely ride around – to somewhere, anywhere, with Class95 plugged in. Or, if my friend is available, go for a spin, and yes, with Class95.
Albeit it’s unhealthy to stay up till that late, I’ve a penchant for the tranquility and beauty of the night. Allows you to sorta slow things down, admire the night skies and stars.
Enjoy the sexy young night! 
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I was sauntering at Far East, earlier yesterday afternoon. It’s been aeons since I last visited that place. My goodness! It’s a paradise for girls! As if like the SG version of BKK. The vast choices of apparels and accessories are mind-blogging! Well, there were a few of mens’ wear stores. But I didn’t scrutinize much.
Ok, this sounds wrong, but I’ve to say the girls there are really attractive and atas. My female friends agreed on that too. And there was this particular girl who was on the train with me. She seemed to exude similar vibes as 1 of my close friends – very (very) sweet and demure looking (to my standards la, of course). Alright, enough.
I’d love to take pictures to better illustrate and enhance my posts, however, my E71 simply CMI. I’m waiting for my lousy-reception-starhub contract to expire by end of this year (yes, loooong way to go), then I could buy an iPhone 4! Yes, I read about the glitches and complaints about it – wrong signal reception, possible yellow tint in retina display, reception reduces when you touch the metal frames which are the antennas. Nonetheless, I’d still give it shot, though initially I hate touch-screen-interface because I need to feel the keypads physically. Maybe it’s just a matter of habits right.
I’m diggin’ Reader’s digest more and more! The stories featured inside are rather interesting, really. Not to mention it also has this ‘Word-Power’ section where you get to learn new words. Haha.
Oh btw, want to thank God for this online drum enthusiat whom I’ve befriended recently. He was very kind enough to lend me one of his snares (Chad Smith signature) and a hand-hammered Sabian HH (hand-hammered) 6″ splash cymbal, for my previous serving. It so happened that one of the songs required a splash cymbal sound, to give that extra touch/hue. Very timely huh. The snare itself isn’t that high-end (in terms of specs and materials) I would say, despite it being signature series. Don’t be deceived to think something’s good just because a celebrity’s name got stuck to it. The splash is good - hand-hammered (probably anything hand-made is usually more ex and better?! haha), if i’m not wrong, darker but rich tone?! Which I like pretty much.
Well, the snare was simply mic-ed up only, since Rhey, the filippino sound guy, wasn’t around to EQ it. It sounded slightly better than the home snare, not a fantastic kind of sound. A safe one rather. I’m hoping to get my hands on a maple snare and other sizes of cymbals. It felt great to have this ‘very humble beginning of experimenting around’. More to come, I hope. =)
Ok it’s 5! And I still don’t feel a tinge of exhaustion. Shouldn’t have ordered Teh-Ah-Lia earlier. I shall do some reading through which, I hope would doze me off…
Eating durians (D24 and wang zhong wang) by the roadside at Geylang…
Savouring the delectable Gong Bao frog legs at Lor 19…
Mini-picnic in the car at ECP…
Watching movie in the afternoon where the theatre is empty, literally…
Admiring the panoramic view from Orchard central and Skypark…
Not bad for a short semester break I guess..
FYP: I’ve already met my professor and mentor (PhD student); and have familiarised myself with most of the processes, over the past 2 weeks. Will be heading back to school everyday from next week onwards.
Basically, I’m supposed to grow carbon filaments in ceramic, which will then be tested to see how effective it can separate oil/diesel from water. Since fabrication of ceramic’s involved, there’ll be a lot of heating and some physical work like grinding and sieving. Previously, I had spent almost the entire day just to grind a small bottle of seemingly fine powder, in order for it sieve through can’t-remember-how-many-micrometres pores, before compressing them into small pellets. My palms were kinda aching after all that. Hah.
Anyhow, my mentor has been rather nice, verified by previous lab mates as well. So once again, want to thank God for a wonderful mentor and professor! =)
My cell member sent me a blogpost link on how to be a ‘Can-make-it’ guy, as SG women often like to complain that men here CMI. It’s super hilarious yet holds some truth, I feel. And I quite like his prose – unique humour and nice structures there. Something that I wish to acquire – write it a more sophisticated manner, and not ‘kiddish language’, you know what I mean?
I’m feeling more and more disconnected from the youth ministry. Is it because I’m jaded and disillusioned? When I see them, apart from the usual courteous nattering, I don’t want to associate with them much but avoid them as much as I could, . They seem exclusive and judgmental (maybe because of my past?!). I wish to relocate to somewhere else and start afresh, seriously. Yet again, with my current responsibilities and duties, I can’t. I’m stuck, alone!
I think when it comes to emotional issues, I’m a totally gone-case. There are a number of barriers which I truly want to overcome, yet it’s not as easy as just ‘pyschoing yourself to think a particular way’ that kinda thing. Still a long way to go, perhaps.
I feel like I’m in a state of limbo….
My internship ended last Friday. Felt abit sad and couldn’t bear to leave somewhat. The fun, laughter and fond memories that we (the interns and group of colleagues) have had: the times where we lunched out together, the outings (movie, steamboat, clubbing), the post-lunch-breaks/tea-breaks/disappearances. If not for that particular group of fun-loving and amicable colleagues, I think the 5 of us would just be in our own world throughout; since our supervisors didn’t really have much for us, frankly. I probably wouldn’t mind going back there as perm, despite the ‘old-people-environment’, which I think is rather prevalent in engineering field, no? Reason being, it’s stable in terms of welfare and pay, and near my house too. Haha.
As for the previous semester results, well, I did ok – Bs. I think I’ve reached a stage where so long I do ok – just any kinds of Bs would suffice. Like I griped before, all that studying is enough, time to head out to work. Would 1 more year of studying add any value? I doubt so, in my opinion. Also, I’d rather have more internships – attached to a project, engineers etc, than doing FYP and design project. Guess the grass on the other side is always greener huh…
Last week, I did 4 straight days of Kiehls, at Raffles City, and Tangs Orchard. Though my legs were tired out, I enjoyed myself pretty much! I get more ‘high’ and energetic when more people stop to listen to what I’ve to say and fill in the forms, and kind enough to interact back with me. Ok, that’s logical enough. At Raffles, I met some familiar faces: 1 of my ex-es with her bf (felt awk and a tinge of sourness), 2 church mates, my friend’s sister, my friend’s cousin who’s the same course as me, nus girls, Li Nanxing’s ex-wife. At Tangs, it was sweet to have my colleagues and friends coming down to ‘support’ me. I also got to know some of the girls from other cosmetic counters, since it could get bored at times when there’s very few people walking past. Of course, I took some, or should I say many samples, from them. Haha.
As I’ve observed, now I know why Singapore’s serving attitude is deemed bad. Many of them serve out of duty, worse, without much smile. You can’t feel their sincerity or passion in them. However, there was one whom I thought was quite inspiring and encouraging - the senior Lancome makeup artist who has very long silky hair. Ok, but she’s not very the young. The way that she smiles and serves her customers, could tell that it’s genuine and makes them feel appreciated and comfortable. I actually took a picture with the whole group of them, but they forgot to tag me! Anyways.
I managed to get the FYP that I wanted. Thank God for that. Now I’ll pray that the prof/sup/whomever would be ultra nice to me, and that the project would be….slack enough. Oops. For now, guess it’s slacking, playing drums, chillin’ out, etc…till FYP starts.
Caught A-team the day before. It was super hilarious! LOL-ed almost throughout the whole movie. Witty yet comical dialogue. Though some parts were a tad far-fetched, good action overall. Goodness. When was the last time I had such a loongg laugh? Life can be quite stressful, so most of the time I’d prefer comedies and light-hearted kind over serious story plots. Next up, Toy Story 3 and She’s out of my league. =)
Thank God for everything, despite me being rather disobedient recently – dabbling in ‘forbidden stuff’. It’s a looong story. Anyway. God bless you. Take care.
Oooops, it’s been a month since I last blogged.
Well well well, let’s see…exams are over. 1 month plus to end of internship, after which, 1.5 month of holiday before the start of For-Your-Pain (FYP) and going back to NUSsie-land. Indeed, time flies…
I need a job for that 1.5 months! If anyone has any lobang, PLEASE PLEASE let me know!
Caught Iron man 2 with my colleagues last Friday. Brilliant! Love the CG effects, more so Peppers (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Natalie (Scarlett Johansson). The impression of Gwyneth that I had, is always she being the next-door girl (nothing bad with it, since I do like next-door ordinary girls too. Heh), getting those ‘ordinary’, not-so-hot roles.
But this time round, her acting and look in the movie changed my perception towards her. Seems to have struck a delicate balance between demure and dishy, I feel. Never underestimate the power of apparels, hair and makeup. As for Scarlett, what else can I say? HOT, HOT, HOT! There was this scene where Tony and Natalie gazed at each other. When the camera was on her full face, her big gorgeous eyes and luscious lips will make any guy melt. haha.
And you know what? I actually uttered ‘awesome’ during the fighting scene! Yea I know, boys and fighting and big toys…Though I’ve to say that the fighting with the villain ended too fast simply by having Tony and Roddy having that ‘partner shots’.
Interestingly, I do get mixed responses on the movie. Some actually felt it was not as good as the first one. They find that it’s like transformers 2, where both just have more CG effects and not as exciting as their predecessors. I shall watch Iron man and decide for myself. Heh.
And if you did not stay until the credits ended, it’s your loss! Because they screened this short teaser – The discovery of the hammer of another Marvel superhero. I’ll leave it to you to figure out. =)
Then, came Ip man 2. Watched with my classmates, as it’s been quite a while since we last caught up. Before the movie, we had the Hotpot culture steamboat. It was alright. We spammed quite a lot of the prawns and beef, to get our money worth.
Just like Transformers and Iron man, I didn’t catch the first part of Ip man which I had to ask my friend to summarise very briefly at the beginning of the movie. Now you know how sad my life was previously! =(
*stretches out hands into guarding position* Yooong Chuunnn!!! The fighting scenes were great. I think any shows with Ye Zi Dan is worth watching. Still as handsome and good as ever. Again, the story plot is rather typical – upholding the integrity of Chinese martial arts and respect, since it’s on fighting and from Hongkong.
Alright, so that marks my movie entertainment for the past week. Is there any other movies worth watching now? Don’t think so right?!..
It’s kind of funny yet interesting that people of our age now, would be talking about studies vs career (work woes, passion etc), BGR, settling down. The more pertinent topics at our stage of life, as it seems. Ok I’ve to qualify, the settling down topic is more for the girls. I was catching up with couple of female friends and they shared about their concerns on settling down. Which again, proves that the gentlemen out there, you jolly well start saving up for your marriage, house, if you want to get married early or more appropriately put, do not want let your girlfriends wait any longer, as it’s not good for girls to marry and give birth late for various reasons.
Personally, I dare not to think much on all this, especially gettin’ attached; though there are times of such yearning, I’ve to admit. I guess I can’t get past myself in quite a number of areas. Well, for now, just enjoy the perks of being single la!
It’s very exasperating when I can’t find simple drum accessories in SG. The drum market/industry here is UTTERLY small. I’m considering of driving up to Msia to buy actually. Oh well.
Ok, time to go! Take care folks!
My friend asked me to subsitute him for his job yesterday – being a Kiehl’s boy at Raffles city, giving out complimentary samples.
I enjoy such sales/service job, though standing for like 6 hours could be very tiring for the feet. Met a lot of attractive and classy-looking ladies. Quite a number of them were shopping alone actually, interestingly. There were 3 boys including me, and we managed to get 150 plus profile cards! Not too bad right? We were rewarded for that, of course. Hehe. Well, hope that they’d look for me again next time. =)
After work, headed for Esplanade to chill. Stood awhile to watch a band performance at the waterfront – it was this indie rock band jamming away. Not my type at all. Then we decided to check out the new Jazz@southbridge. Yes, they have relocated! Better ambience, more spacious, and closer to the band…Brilliant!
It’s very liberating and carefree, is it not? Mon – Fri work, Weekends relax and/or play. Unlike school semesters…stay up in school till late to do projects, burn weekends to complete whatever crap. Jaded and disillusioned, you can call it. It’s like just get that cert and screw off from school – end of mugging, exams, tutorials! And move on to the real life out there and slog till you die. If you’re lucky, you’ll be doing what you like – live to work, and not work to live.
I wish I could have more ‘energy and vibrancy’ like those in my friends - more talkative, entertaining, humorous and sunshine. It’s not easy for me to maintain that kind of energy all if not most of the time. Can be quite sapping and even difficult sometimes. Maybe I lack the capacity, or I just need some time to warm-up, in order to loosen up. It makes me wonder if I’ve become too serious, dulling the mood and people around me. There’s this introverted and reclusive side of me that, at times, wishes to isolate myself. Being emo, if you wish to call it. Bad me! =\ Whether happy, sad, emo, or angry, life (is short and ) still has to go on, so why not choose the better side? Happy!! Need to change!
Anyway, time to practise drums. Take care folks!
